All the rules for the final story

1. 210 words
2. First sentence must contain the word "blender"
3. 12 sentences long
4. The 7th sentence must be, "The aardvark ate my balloon."
5. Something has to be parenthetical
6. 1 sentence must be void of indefinite articles
7. 2 sentences must be palindromes (by words, not letters)
8. Include a non-primary color
9. Include one German word
10. Mike Bezemek must feature
11. The story must take place in 1950
12. Include the word "homunculus"
13. Include an American flag
14. No intensifiers